wednesday 11 october 02000 9:15am
at my desk

do you ever feel like an ant?

so small and one among many and scurry scurry scurry. carrying all the little bits of leaf. bustle. and all about the glory of everything and all of us on this enormous water-covered rock hurtling about a flaming ball of gas, which is one among innumerable flaming balls of gas.

so much fuss all of it. i wonder why we let things get so complicated? we could be picking apples off of trees and hunting buffalo and lying around all day in the shade stacking rocks in pretty formations. and i guess in a way we are. but why did we decide everything was so important? why did we decide it had to be hard?

today i feel very small. autumn. i felt the season change this week like a key in my back. i am quiet and weepy over nothing. time drips on my head like a waterfall. and:

it’s all happening.

isn’t it?