thursday 22 december 02005 6:50pm
the long dark night of winter

for a long time my best attempt at defining love was something about two beings becoming attuned to one another, resonating at the same frequency.

when steve said the story of how he recognized sara, he said that they went out dancing one night, and were like two magnets turned in the right direction.

right now i could say love is when you see someone in the full glory of their being. you see that this is god.

with james, it is different. i see in him the divine glory, and also, i recognize him as myself. and so many people i have loved, he seems to contain them. once, i started to say something to him about when we went to the prom, which was ten years before we met.

sometimes, i cannot remember which memories from my childhood happened to me, and which happened to my sister.

james says that he lays his hand where my shoulders need because he can feel it.

sometimes, my mind slips for a moment and i see through a crack into a world i recognize from dreaming. i can see that this world is alive, and someone who seems to be me is living there.

memory is stored in the present tense. when we see the memory through the eyes of now, we recall it through the filter of me-now. but sometimes, we get inside the memory. it's all right there.

every moment is eternal. everyone is god. nothing and everything is real.

how can anything be wrong? why do we forget?