saturday 24 june 02006 10:18am
the arc of healing

beloved friends and family,

thank you for your support. thank you for the flowers, phone calls, prayers, poems, and all your loving hands. my healing is sublime, and i feel healed by your will and efforts as much as my own.

i apologize for having taken so long to write. if i have missed returning your phone call or email, i apologize. i am doing my best to be kind and responsive, but it is only the past day or so in which i have felt that there was more of me present on this plane than out in the other planes of being, healing. i am beginning to feel myself come home to roost once again. i feel reborn. i am so grateful to be alive. what else can matter? we are alive, together, today. ahhhhh.

i have been in a state of ecstatic surrender since the morning i awakened for surgery; singing and smiling. at no time have i buckled miserable or sad; every moment has been a joy to exist, to be so well cared for, to be healing into greater health. surgery went well and healing unfolds with astonishing rapidity and slowness. every moment holds new wonders, and i watch the flowers, so many flowers i was sent, blossom and then fade; i lay in bed and watch the peony fall apart into everything.

one of the beautiful things about this surgery is how small it makes the world. my desires and the tasks before me are so grand and so simple. i want to sleep without pain. i can get out of bed by myself! though it was beautiful to rise always in someone's arms. in the arms of strangers, the arms of james, the arms of my friends. i decided to love everyone at the hospital. i learned every face and name and greeted every person who entered my room with love, and i was therefore surrounded at every moment by love. every hand that touched me was love, the plastic tubes were love, the portal to my innards was a gift of love from someone who barely knows me and wants me to feel better. people i do not know made sure my temperature was right, and that my blood had oxygen, that my blood pressure was right, that the tubes drained correctly. every time the nurses pulled a piece of tape from my body, they apologized for the pain. i have an abdominal incision and they are apologizing for pulling the tiny hairs on my arm or my thigh!

thank you, again. i am feeling more energy each day, each day i am able to stand longer, eat more, think more clearly, stay awake longer. i am still spending a tremendous amount of time in bed, sleeping, or in a healing place between sleeping and waking... i feel you with me, every moment.

kristie dahlia home